Murder
First Family: Cain, 13 September 2026
13 09 26 Filed in: Sermons | Ideal Family
First Family
Series: Ideal Family
Kirk Schneemann
College First Church of God
September 13, 2026
Genesis 4:2-8
Series Big Idea: All families are messed up, including biblical families.
Big Idea: Sibling rivalry is nothing new…and can be fatal!
My name is Kirk and today we’re beginning a new series entitled, “Ideal Family.” Whether you like it or not, you’re part of a family; at least one. Ever since God said it was not good for man to be alone, humans have lived with others…for better or worse. Family is God’s design. It was His idea.
But here’s the inconvenient truth: all families are messed up! Mine. Yours. That family with the perfect hair, clothes, kids, and car! As we’ll see through this series, biblical families are messed up…including Jesus’ family!
We begin our series with a look at the First Family, Adam and Eve. The story of creation in Genesis is well known, as is the disobedient eating of the one tree in the Garden that was forbidden. Everything changed at that moment. Adam and Eve’s relationship changed. Their relationship with God changed. Thousands of years later we still bear the consequences of their sin.
Cain & Abel
Parenting brings its own share of joy…and heartache. Rarely do siblings rush to serve their parents together as we saw in the “ideal” video! Parenting one child is a tremendous challenge. A second child introduces an entirely new dynamic: sibling rivalry.
How many of you have a sibling? How many parents have more than one child?
Sibling rivalry dates back to…the very first siblings. The first kids joined in on the conflict and dysfunction started by Adam and Eve. Genesis chapter four begins
Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. (Genesis 4:1)
Cain is the leading character in this story. He’s mentioned sixteen times. He’s the older brother. His birth is celebrated by his mom.
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. (Genesis 4:2-5)
On its own, this passage isn’t clear. Is God a carnivore? Is He allergic to fruit? Hardly! The simple answer is we don’t know. Some have suggested the necessity of a blood sacrifice, but the text doesn’t say, nor do we know Abel’s sacrifice contained blood. Abel brought the firstborn of his flock—his very best—but we don’t know if Cain brought his best or not. We just know Cain was very angry because his brother’s offering was acceptable and his was rejected.
Warren Wiersbe writes, “Cain wasn’t rejected because of his offering, but his offering was rejected because of Cain: His heart wasn’t right with God.” Thousands of years later, we’re told…
By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead. (Hebrews 11:4)
I wish this was the end of sibling rivalry, but it’s not. Ishmael persecuted Isaac. Jacob fled his brother Esau, fearing his life. Joseph’s brothers nearly killed him, instead opting to sell him as a slave. The very person/persons we are closest to often cause the greatest hostility. If anyone should have your back, it should be your brother or sister.
Let me add this is true spiritually, too. Often our greatest critics are not distant strangers, but rather the people who sit beside us on Sunday mornings or those in our small group. May it never be! We are called to love and serve one another. Back to our story…
Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:6-7)
Cain obviously disobeyed God. God encourages Cain to do what is right. He is warned that sin is near, personified as a crouching demon waiting to strike. We talked about this last week. Spiritual warfare is real. We must put on the armor. We must be on guard.
Unfortunately Cain opened the door. He succumbed to temptation. What sin is lurking at your door? Do you carry grudges? Are you bitter? What about lust? Gossip? Worry? Gluttony? Paul instructs
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
If only Cain had been so wise. His sacrifice was rejected, but the story gets worse. Much worse.
Have you ever been jealous of a sister or brother? Maybe they got straight A’s while you struggled to pass the class. Perhaps they were Olympic-bound while you were the last one to cross the finish line on Field Day. Envy is ugly. Sibling rivalry is real. Comparing ourselves to others is dangerous…even deadly!
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. (Genesis 4:8)
This may have been the first human death. Here’s the summary:
- Abel obeys God
- Cain disobeys God
- Cain is envious and adds to his disobedience and sins by killing his brother
Our relationship with God and our relationship with our brothers and sisters cannot be separated. We love God by loving our neighbor, and we love our neighbor by loving God.
Most of us will not be murdered by a sibling! At least I hope not! Yet many are emotionally destroyed by the actions of a jealous sibling.
Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9)
God does everything He can to prompt repentance. He’s always seeking to save the lost, the broken, the criminal, the sinner.
Martin Luther’s definition of sin was “man curved in upon himself.” Sin is always focusing on yourself, always choosing yourself over God or others, placing yourself at the center. Sin means even when we do good things (help the poor, attend church gatherings, etc.), it’s always about us, about furthering our agenda, about giving us the self-image we want to have, about engaging so long as it makes us feel good. Sin is so insidious that when we look like we’re serving others, we’re really serving ourselves. We need to repent.
Repentance means to turn. That was God’s desire for Cain and us. Turn away from sin and run toward God and godliness.
The LORD said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.” (Genesis 4:10-12)
A passage that began with a blessing ends with a curse.
Cain said to the LORD, “My punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.” (Genesis 4:13-14)
But the LORD said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the LORD put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. So Cain went out from the LORD’S presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden. (Genesis 4:15-16)
Cain’s not sorry for his sin, but only for his punishment. Like so many sins, one led to another and then another. Perhaps the most tragic statement of all is that “Cain went out from the LORD’s presence.” I never want to be there. And it began with jealousy and sibling rivalry.
So What?
There are two types of people in this world: those who honor God and those who dishonor God. We don’t know the details, but the contrast between Cain and Abel is obvious.
There are so many applications to this passage.
- Obey God
- Love your siblings—biological and spiritual
- If you’re jealous, let it go. Give it up. Life’s too short.
- Know your weaknesses and areas of vulnerability to temptation
- Repent when you sin. Don’t cover it up. God knows. He sees it all.
If you are in the midst of a broken relationship of any kind, seek reconciliation.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18)
If it’s not possible, stay on your knees. Cry out to God. Your story’s not over yet. Change is possible. God is faithful.
All families are messed up. Sibling rivalry is nothing new…and can be fatal! But followers of Christ have a big half-brother, Jesus. He’s the perfect example of what it means to be human. He showed us how to love…even our enemies. We need him in order to love our brother and sister…for his glory.
Credits: Some ideas from Be Basic by Warren Wiersbe.
Series: Ideal Family
Kirk Schneemann
College First Church of God
September 13, 2026
Genesis 4:2-8
Series Big Idea: All families are messed up, including biblical families.
Big Idea: Sibling rivalry is nothing new…and can be fatal!
My name is Kirk and today we’re beginning a new series entitled, “Ideal Family.” Whether you like it or not, you’re part of a family; at least one. Ever since God said it was not good for man to be alone, humans have lived with others…for better or worse. Family is God’s design. It was His idea.
But here’s the inconvenient truth: all families are messed up! Mine. Yours. That family with the perfect hair, clothes, kids, and car! As we’ll see through this series, biblical families are messed up…including Jesus’ family!
We begin our series with a look at the First Family, Adam and Eve. The story of creation in Genesis is well known, as is the disobedient eating of the one tree in the Garden that was forbidden. Everything changed at that moment. Adam and Eve’s relationship changed. Their relationship with God changed. Thousands of years later we still bear the consequences of their sin.
Cain & Abel
Parenting brings its own share of joy…and heartache. Rarely do siblings rush to serve their parents together as we saw in the “ideal” video! Parenting one child is a tremendous challenge. A second child introduces an entirely new dynamic: sibling rivalry.
How many of you have a sibling? How many parents have more than one child?
Sibling rivalry dates back to…the very first siblings. The first kids joined in on the conflict and dysfunction started by Adam and Eve. Genesis chapter four begins
Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. (Genesis 4:1)
Cain is the leading character in this story. He’s mentioned sixteen times. He’s the older brother. His birth is celebrated by his mom.
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. (Genesis 4:2-5)
On its own, this passage isn’t clear. Is God a carnivore? Is He allergic to fruit? Hardly! The simple answer is we don’t know. Some have suggested the necessity of a blood sacrifice, but the text doesn’t say, nor do we know Abel’s sacrifice contained blood. Abel brought the firstborn of his flock—his very best—but we don’t know if Cain brought his best or not. We just know Cain was very angry because his brother’s offering was acceptable and his was rejected.
Warren Wiersbe writes, “Cain wasn’t rejected because of his offering, but his offering was rejected because of Cain: His heart wasn’t right with God.” Thousands of years later, we’re told…
By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead. (Hebrews 11:4)
I wish this was the end of sibling rivalry, but it’s not. Ishmael persecuted Isaac. Jacob fled his brother Esau, fearing his life. Joseph’s brothers nearly killed him, instead opting to sell him as a slave. The very person/persons we are closest to often cause the greatest hostility. If anyone should have your back, it should be your brother or sister.
Let me add this is true spiritually, too. Often our greatest critics are not distant strangers, but rather the people who sit beside us on Sunday mornings or those in our small group. May it never be! We are called to love and serve one another. Back to our story…
Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:6-7)
Cain obviously disobeyed God. God encourages Cain to do what is right. He is warned that sin is near, personified as a crouching demon waiting to strike. We talked about this last week. Spiritual warfare is real. We must put on the armor. We must be on guard.
Unfortunately Cain opened the door. He succumbed to temptation. What sin is lurking at your door? Do you carry grudges? Are you bitter? What about lust? Gossip? Worry? Gluttony? Paul instructs
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
If only Cain had been so wise. His sacrifice was rejected, but the story gets worse. Much worse.
Have you ever been jealous of a sister or brother? Maybe they got straight A’s while you struggled to pass the class. Perhaps they were Olympic-bound while you were the last one to cross the finish line on Field Day. Envy is ugly. Sibling rivalry is real. Comparing ourselves to others is dangerous…even deadly!
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. (Genesis 4:8)
This may have been the first human death. Here’s the summary:
- Abel obeys God
- Cain disobeys God
- Cain is envious and adds to his disobedience and sins by killing his brother
Our relationship with God and our relationship with our brothers and sisters cannot be separated. We love God by loving our neighbor, and we love our neighbor by loving God.
Most of us will not be murdered by a sibling! At least I hope not! Yet many are emotionally destroyed by the actions of a jealous sibling.
Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9)
God does everything He can to prompt repentance. He’s always seeking to save the lost, the broken, the criminal, the sinner.
Martin Luther’s definition of sin was “man curved in upon himself.” Sin is always focusing on yourself, always choosing yourself over God or others, placing yourself at the center. Sin means even when we do good things (help the poor, attend church gatherings, etc.), it’s always about us, about furthering our agenda, about giving us the self-image we want to have, about engaging so long as it makes us feel good. Sin is so insidious that when we look like we’re serving others, we’re really serving ourselves. We need to repent.
Repentance means to turn. That was God’s desire for Cain and us. Turn away from sin and run toward God and godliness.
The LORD said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.” (Genesis 4:10-12)
A passage that began with a blessing ends with a curse.
Cain said to the LORD, “My punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.” (Genesis 4:13-14)
But the LORD said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the LORD put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. So Cain went out from the LORD’S presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden. (Genesis 4:15-16)
Cain’s not sorry for his sin, but only for his punishment. Like so many sins, one led to another and then another. Perhaps the most tragic statement of all is that “Cain went out from the LORD’s presence.” I never want to be there. And it began with jealousy and sibling rivalry.
So What?
There are two types of people in this world: those who honor God and those who dishonor God. We don’t know the details, but the contrast between Cain and Abel is obvious.
There are so many applications to this passage.
- Obey God
- Love your siblings—biological and spiritual
- If you’re jealous, let it go. Give it up. Life’s too short.
- Know your weaknesses and areas of vulnerability to temptation
- Repent when you sin. Don’t cover it up. God knows. He sees it all.
If you are in the midst of a broken relationship of any kind, seek reconciliation.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18)
If it’s not possible, stay on your knees. Cry out to God. Your story’s not over yet. Change is possible. God is faithful.
All families are messed up. Sibling rivalry is nothing new…and can be fatal! But followers of Christ have a big half-brother, Jesus. He’s the perfect example of what it means to be human. He showed us how to love…even our enemies. We need him in order to love our brother and sister…for his glory.
Credits: Some ideas from Be Basic by Warren Wiersbe.
Family & Love, 22 September 2024`
30 09 24 Filed in: Sermons | Words of Life: Jesus on the Ten Commandments
Family & Love—Commandments 5-6
Words of Life: Jesus on God’s Top 10
Kirk Schneemann
College First Church of God
September 22, 2024
Exodus 20:12-13
Series Big Idea: Jesus had much to say about God’s Top Ten list.
Big Idea: God created the family—along with the government and the Church—and instructs us to value life in all of its forms.
I love design. I’m not necessarily gifted in designing things, but I appreciate good design. Jony Ive designed some iconic products for Apple. IKEA is world-renown for their innovative designs (and manuals that show you how to actually assemble them!). The worlds of fashion, automobiles, architecture, and computer systems are filled with design. The greatest designer, of course, is our Creator God. He not only spoke the universe into existence, He designed three institutions to allow more than 8 billion people to flourish on our planet today—government, the Church, and the family. Tragically, all three are broken because they are filled with sinners. Government is…a mess. The Church has permeated cultures around the world, despite its many splits and scandals.
As we continue our series on Jesus’ response to God’s Top Ten, we’ll see God’s design for the family and life itself.
Jesus summarized the entire Old Testament law with two commands.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)
Love God. Love neighbor.
The first four commands deal with loving God.
- No other gods
- No idols
- Don’t misuse God’s name
- Keep the sabbath
Today we are looking at two of the six that deal with loving others: honor parents and don’t murder. Exodus 20 verse 12:
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
I realize it may not be politically correct to say this, but it would be biblically correct to say God designed the family such that a man and a woman could make a lifetime commitment to one another through marriage, reproduce, and form a trinitarian unit—dad, mom, child—that resembles the Father, Son, Holy Spirit Trinity.
Because of sin, we have many broken families, dysfunctional families, and alternative families. God had a perfect design and we messed it up, just like we’ve messed up our beautiful planet, our relationship with money, the aforementioned government, and virtually everything else! Choosing to violate a design doesn’t mean the design is flawed. My car is designed to take gasoline. It is my right as the owner of my car to put Dr. Pepper in the gas tank. When my car has issues, it’s not the fault of the car designer or manufacturer, but rather what we call user error.
It's important to note this because family should be a wonderful word denoting safety, flourishing, intimacy, challenge, and growth. Some of you have had this experience, while others have only read about such a reality. If I had a nickel for every time someone has told me about a wayward child or grandchild, an abusive father, an addicted mother,…No family is perfect, but we should never intentionally violate God’s design for it…or anything else. We see the results of disobedience every day.
The context for this and the other nine commandments—not suggestions—is the Jews in the wilderness on a 40-day journey to the Promised Land. In addition to the command to honor parents is a promise. Paul notes this as he echoes the command in the book of Ephesians.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Honor is a word becoming increasingly uncommon in our vocabulary. It seems nothing is sacred or treated with dignity these days (boy I sound old!). Honor means high esteem or high respect. This is how children are to treat their parents. Parents, of course, have responsibilities, too.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)
Too often I see parents being led by the whims and desires of their kids rather than the parents training and disciplining their children to have respect…for them and those in authority. I love sports and the arts, but it seems like some parents promote physical training more than spiritual instruction (kudos to all of you who brought kids with you today! We have great NextGen ministries, not only on Sundays but also throughout the week).
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
Jesus certainly obeyed this and the other commandments, but he put it in context.
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. (Matthew 21:37)
Family is important, but it must never become an idol. Your mom, dad, grandparents, or children must never become more important than God.
Heather and I have one living parent between us—my mom—and while we seek to honor her (hi mom!), we can honor our deceased parents through stories, photos, and kind words. No parent is perfect, but there are ways to honor even the most absent or abusive mom or dad, if for no other reason than they are partially responsible for your life.
Speaking of life, the sixth commandment says,
“You shall not murder. (Exodus 20:13)
It’s actually just two words in the original Hebrew, the subject being “ratzach.” This is a command concerning love. Life is precious, in all of its forms. Psalm 139 details how we were known by God in the womb, fearfully and wonderfully made.
The command is not actually “thou shall not kill.” It is acceptable throughout the Bible to kill animals for food. We don’t say “murder” animals because murder is “the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.” There are accidental deaths, wars, and self-defense instances involving death but not murder.
Life is sacred, from the womb to the tomb. It is a gift from God, and while it may seem obvious, murdering another human does not fulfill the command to love your neighbor as yourself!
I’m guessing most of you have not committed murder, but this is not merely a series on the Ten Commandments, but rather Jesus’ view of them. As we will see during these final three weeks, he never “lowered the bar” and made them easier to follow. Instead, he deliberately raised the standard, making perfection impossible and grace indispensable.
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matthew 5:21-22)
Those are Jesus’ words, not mine! “Raca” means empty-headed. A few verses later, he adds,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. (Matthew 5:43-45)
I think this may be the most challenging teaching in the entire Bible. Love your enemies. Don’t murder them. Don’t hate them. Don’t slander them, gossip about them, spew on social media about them. Love them.
That’s an impossible command…apart from God’s power.
Someone once said forgiveness is easy…until you have someone to forgive!
Loving enemies is easy…until you have an enemy to love. This means Republicans, Democrats, Buckeyes, Wolverines, Haitians, members of the rainbow community, followers of other religions, prison inmates,…
So What?
God created the family—along with the government and the Church—and instructs us to value life in all of its forms. I wonder how different our world would look if we followed God’s design. If every child had a dad and mom, if the murder rate was zero, if parents raised their kids to honor God and others, if life was valued from conception to natural death, if authority was executed appropriately and elders were respected. When we follow the instructions, when we pay attention to the design and designer, things just work. We can rationalize anything, try new things to be “edgy,” or simply live in rebellion against God, but He gets the last word. We will reap what we sow. Judgment Day is real, and it’s coming for each of us. Are you ready?
The good news about this and all of the commandments is that when we fall short, when we miss the mark, when we sin, forgiveness is available through Jesus Christ. That’s why we praise him. He is God and we’re not. He is worthy of our praise. His grace is amazing, His love is steadfast, and His mercies are new every morning. That doesn’t mean we can ignore God’s Top Ten, do what we want, and seek cheap grace. God’s design is for our flourishing. Loving God and loving others as ourselves is the path to true peace, contentment, and satisfaction. Family, let’s love well…for His glory.
Words of Life: Jesus on God’s Top 10
Kirk Schneemann
College First Church of God
September 22, 2024
Exodus 20:12-13
Series Big Idea: Jesus had much to say about God’s Top Ten list.
Big Idea: God created the family—along with the government and the Church—and instructs us to value life in all of its forms.
I love design. I’m not necessarily gifted in designing things, but I appreciate good design. Jony Ive designed some iconic products for Apple. IKEA is world-renown for their innovative designs (and manuals that show you how to actually assemble them!). The worlds of fashion, automobiles, architecture, and computer systems are filled with design. The greatest designer, of course, is our Creator God. He not only spoke the universe into existence, He designed three institutions to allow more than 8 billion people to flourish on our planet today—government, the Church, and the family. Tragically, all three are broken because they are filled with sinners. Government is…a mess. The Church has permeated cultures around the world, despite its many splits and scandals.
As we continue our series on Jesus’ response to God’s Top Ten, we’ll see God’s design for the family and life itself.
Jesus summarized the entire Old Testament law with two commands.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)
Love God. Love neighbor.
The first four commands deal with loving God.
- No other gods
- No idols
- Don’t misuse God’s name
- Keep the sabbath
Today we are looking at two of the six that deal with loving others: honor parents and don’t murder. Exodus 20 verse 12:
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
I realize it may not be politically correct to say this, but it would be biblically correct to say God designed the family such that a man and a woman could make a lifetime commitment to one another through marriage, reproduce, and form a trinitarian unit—dad, mom, child—that resembles the Father, Son, Holy Spirit Trinity.
Because of sin, we have many broken families, dysfunctional families, and alternative families. God had a perfect design and we messed it up, just like we’ve messed up our beautiful planet, our relationship with money, the aforementioned government, and virtually everything else! Choosing to violate a design doesn’t mean the design is flawed. My car is designed to take gasoline. It is my right as the owner of my car to put Dr. Pepper in the gas tank. When my car has issues, it’s not the fault of the car designer or manufacturer, but rather what we call user error.
It's important to note this because family should be a wonderful word denoting safety, flourishing, intimacy, challenge, and growth. Some of you have had this experience, while others have only read about such a reality. If I had a nickel for every time someone has told me about a wayward child or grandchild, an abusive father, an addicted mother,…No family is perfect, but we should never intentionally violate God’s design for it…or anything else. We see the results of disobedience every day.
The context for this and the other nine commandments—not suggestions—is the Jews in the wilderness on a 40-day journey to the Promised Land. In addition to the command to honor parents is a promise. Paul notes this as he echoes the command in the book of Ephesians.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Honor is a word becoming increasingly uncommon in our vocabulary. It seems nothing is sacred or treated with dignity these days (boy I sound old!). Honor means high esteem or high respect. This is how children are to treat their parents. Parents, of course, have responsibilities, too.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)
Too often I see parents being led by the whims and desires of their kids rather than the parents training and disciplining their children to have respect…for them and those in authority. I love sports and the arts, but it seems like some parents promote physical training more than spiritual instruction (kudos to all of you who brought kids with you today! We have great NextGen ministries, not only on Sundays but also throughout the week).
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
Jesus certainly obeyed this and the other commandments, but he put it in context.
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. (Matthew 21:37)
Family is important, but it must never become an idol. Your mom, dad, grandparents, or children must never become more important than God.
Heather and I have one living parent between us—my mom—and while we seek to honor her (hi mom!), we can honor our deceased parents through stories, photos, and kind words. No parent is perfect, but there are ways to honor even the most absent or abusive mom or dad, if for no other reason than they are partially responsible for your life.
Speaking of life, the sixth commandment says,
“You shall not murder. (Exodus 20:13)
It’s actually just two words in the original Hebrew, the subject being “ratzach.” This is a command concerning love. Life is precious, in all of its forms. Psalm 139 details how we were known by God in the womb, fearfully and wonderfully made.
The command is not actually “thou shall not kill.” It is acceptable throughout the Bible to kill animals for food. We don’t say “murder” animals because murder is “the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.” There are accidental deaths, wars, and self-defense instances involving death but not murder.
Life is sacred, from the womb to the tomb. It is a gift from God, and while it may seem obvious, murdering another human does not fulfill the command to love your neighbor as yourself!
I’m guessing most of you have not committed murder, but this is not merely a series on the Ten Commandments, but rather Jesus’ view of them. As we will see during these final three weeks, he never “lowered the bar” and made them easier to follow. Instead, he deliberately raised the standard, making perfection impossible and grace indispensable.
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matthew 5:21-22)
Those are Jesus’ words, not mine! “Raca” means empty-headed. A few verses later, he adds,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. (Matthew 5:43-45)
I think this may be the most challenging teaching in the entire Bible. Love your enemies. Don’t murder them. Don’t hate them. Don’t slander them, gossip about them, spew on social media about them. Love them.
That’s an impossible command…apart from God’s power.
Someone once said forgiveness is easy…until you have someone to forgive!
Loving enemies is easy…until you have an enemy to love. This means Republicans, Democrats, Buckeyes, Wolverines, Haitians, members of the rainbow community, followers of other religions, prison inmates,…
So What?
God created the family—along with the government and the Church—and instructs us to value life in all of its forms. I wonder how different our world would look if we followed God’s design. If every child had a dad and mom, if the murder rate was zero, if parents raised their kids to honor God and others, if life was valued from conception to natural death, if authority was executed appropriately and elders were respected. When we follow the instructions, when we pay attention to the design and designer, things just work. We can rationalize anything, try new things to be “edgy,” or simply live in rebellion against God, but He gets the last word. We will reap what we sow. Judgment Day is real, and it’s coming for each of us. Are you ready?
The good news about this and all of the commandments is that when we fall short, when we miss the mark, when we sin, forgiveness is available through Jesus Christ. That’s why we praise him. He is God and we’re not. He is worthy of our praise. His grace is amazing, His love is steadfast, and His mercies are new every morning. That doesn’t mean we can ignore God’s Top Ten, do what we want, and seek cheap grace. God’s design is for our flourishing. Loving God and loving others as ourselves is the path to true peace, contentment, and satisfaction. Family, let’s love well…for His glory.