Loneliness
You're Not Alone in the Struggle, 1 November 2026
01 11 26 Filed in: Sermons | He Promises
You’re Not Alone in the Struggle
He Promises
Kirk Schneemann
College First Church of God
November 1, 2026
Matthew 28:18-20
Series Description: Maybe you’ve heard what Jesus has done for others. You want to believe He can do the same for you, but you're not sure it's even possible. Jesus made several promises in the Bible—but what do they mean today?
Big Idea: God promises to be with us…always.
When is the last time you felt lonely?
For some, it may be today, even surrounded by others. Being alone and feeling lonely are quite different. While I can’t guarantee you will never feel lonely, I can say with complete confidence you are never alone. God is with us…always.
My name is Kirk, and today we continue our series He Promises. In week one, we said God loves you even when it doesn’t feel like it. Last Sunday, we said God is present even when you don’t hear His voice. I want to encourage you today that you’re not alone in the struggle. And the struggle is real.
If you’ve been reading through the New Testament with us, you recently encountered a great story about Jesus and his disciples in a great storm on the Sea of Galilee. To set the stage, the Sea of Galilee is known for violent thunderstorms with gale-force winds that can appear with little warning, waves reaching as high as 20 feet. In Jewish culture, the sea was associated with danger, chaos, and natural forces. I imagine many people had drowned during ferocious storms that seemed to be created by monsters.
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” (Mark 4:35)
This sounds fine, but on the other side were…Gentiles! Pagans. “Those people.” It’s like someone telling a bunch of Buckeyes to drive up to Ann Arbor to hang out with Wolverines!
Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. (Mark 4:36)
I’m sure it was difficult leaving the crowds. Jesus had done a lot of teaching and was probably exhausted. He had taught about faith, and now trust would be tested.
A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. (Mark 4:37)
This was not a military-grade ship they were in! It was probably a wooden boat, obviously made by hand since they had no shipbuilding factories.
Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” (Mark 4:38)
I love the detail…on a cushion. I can’t imagine how anyone could sleep through this storm, though Jesus was very tired from the crowds. Notice the accusation in the disciples. “Don’t you care?”
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. (Mark 4:39)
Jesus said these words to an unclean spirit at Capernaum in the first chapter of Mark. He has authority over spiritual and natural forces. Beyond a miracle, the disciples may have thought of the sea in Psalm 107:
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and he brought them out of their distress.
He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea were hushed.
They were glad when it grew calm,
and he guided them to their desired haven. (Psalm 107:28-30)
Jesus is doing what God did in this scripture. This is no party trick! This is God at work.
He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40)
Fear or faith? There were experienced fishermen in the boat with Jesus, including Peter, Andrew, James, and John. For them to be terrified is significant.
The storm was over, yet they were still afraid. Instead of fearing the danger, they feared God. It wasn’t a spooky fear, but awe and reverence in the presence of the mysterious miracle worker. They’ve seen Jesus do miracles. They’ve heard the amazing teaching. They were still coming to grips with the fact that the long-awaited Messiah was in their midst.
They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” (Mark 4:41)
The question reveals a lot about the disciples. Who is this? We know it is Jesus, the God-man, fully God and fully human, able to relate to our struggles, sorrow, and pain, yet possessing all power and authority. Do you know him? Do you follow him? Is he just Savior but also truly LORD?
What I want to tell you is Jesus will calm every storm in your life, but we know that’s not true. Scott Krippayne penned these song lyrics:
Sometimes He calms the storm And other times He calms His child
I love that! God promises to be with us…always. I’d rather be with Jesus in a storm than alone on the beach.
Our scripture reading is from Jesus’ final words on earth as recorded by Matthew. He gathered his followers together.
Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18)
This passage is known as the Great Commission. It’s one of the most important texts in the entire Bible.
First, Jesus declares his authority. It is complete. Jesus has all authority. He has it all, in heaven and on earth. That is crucial because the rest would be meaningless without it.
The mission, then, is to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them, and teaching them to obey. This is the foundation of our church mission to love, equip, and send. We are to be a discipleship factory.
Notice that’s different than merely distributing religious goods and services. It means we are to intentionally engage in life-on-life ministry, but we’re not alone. He is with us always, to the very end of the age. That’s the message of Christmas: Emmanuel, God is with us. Jesus was with us for 33 years and then sent the Holy Spirit to be with us. I take great comfort in knowing God is here. God is with us.
This does not mean we won’t struggle, but rather that God is with us in the struggle.
At this very moment, the room is filled with something you cannot see, feel, smell, taste, or hear, but they are very real. They’re called radio frequencies or waves. In order to access them, you need a receiver…a radio. The same can be said for WiFi or television signals. They are present, but we’re often unaware of their presence. We need to tune in. We need to pay attention.
Research shows that as we move, our eyes are usually focused ahead or down. There could be something right above you, and you may be unaware of it. I want to challenge you to look up! Paul said in the midst of life’s troubles,
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18)
Not only is God with us, but the Church is with us in the struggle. Notice the capital “C.” We were created for community, for relationships. I need you. You need me. We are a family. No individual is a family.
I love our College First family. I’ve seen countless examples of people loving, serving, praying, laughing, crying, encouraging, grieving, and rejoicing with and for one another. I believe we can go through just about anything in life if we know we’re not alone. I often think of our nine years with a sick child and the dozens of people who journeyed with us. Heather read a book by Carol Kent that referred to those people as “stretcher-bearers.” They came alongside us and carried us when we could not carry ourselves. They brought meals, prayed, sent cards of encouragement, watched our other kids when we were at the Cleveland Clinic, and supported us financially.
That’s the Church in action. Real community. Nothing artificial about it! But you have to reach out. You have to make your needs known. Ask for help, fill out a Connection Card, join a small group, contact the office, send an e-mail to a staff member, come forward for prayer at the end of our gathering today. We can’t serve you if we don’t know you need help.
So What?
If you’ve said “yes” to Jesus, you are never alone. God promises to be with us…always. If you let Jesus in your boat, he will never leave you. The writer of the book of Hebrews said,
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
This is a reference to three Old Testament passages (Genesis 28:15, Deuteronomy 31:6, 8, and Joshua 1:5). Throughout the Scriptures, we’re reminded that God is with us. Always. These verses have been a comfort to those facing persecution and even martyrdom both then and now around the world. It’s a promise He makes again and again.
In the storm, the disciples didn’t feel God’s love, but it was present. It was hard for them to hear Jesus, but he was speaking. He was fully present even when they were not looking to him. Things changed when they turned to him and reached out.
The next time you feel lonely, remember, God is with us. Look up!
And the church is with us. Reach out! You’re a part of a family. You belong here. You are seen. You are loved. You are never alone.
He Promises
Kirk Schneemann
College First Church of God
November 1, 2026
Matthew 28:18-20
Series Description: Maybe you’ve heard what Jesus has done for others. You want to believe He can do the same for you, but you're not sure it's even possible. Jesus made several promises in the Bible—but what do they mean today?
Big Idea: God promises to be with us…always.
When is the last time you felt lonely?
For some, it may be today, even surrounded by others. Being alone and feeling lonely are quite different. While I can’t guarantee you will never feel lonely, I can say with complete confidence you are never alone. God is with us…always.
My name is Kirk, and today we continue our series He Promises. In week one, we said God loves you even when it doesn’t feel like it. Last Sunday, we said God is present even when you don’t hear His voice. I want to encourage you today that you’re not alone in the struggle. And the struggle is real.
If you’ve been reading through the New Testament with us, you recently encountered a great story about Jesus and his disciples in a great storm on the Sea of Galilee. To set the stage, the Sea of Galilee is known for violent thunderstorms with gale-force winds that can appear with little warning, waves reaching as high as 20 feet. In Jewish culture, the sea was associated with danger, chaos, and natural forces. I imagine many people had drowned during ferocious storms that seemed to be created by monsters.
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” (Mark 4:35)
This sounds fine, but on the other side were…Gentiles! Pagans. “Those people.” It’s like someone telling a bunch of Buckeyes to drive up to Ann Arbor to hang out with Wolverines!
Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. (Mark 4:36)
I’m sure it was difficult leaving the crowds. Jesus had done a lot of teaching and was probably exhausted. He had taught about faith, and now trust would be tested.
A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. (Mark 4:37)
This was not a military-grade ship they were in! It was probably a wooden boat, obviously made by hand since they had no shipbuilding factories.
Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” (Mark 4:38)
I love the detail…on a cushion. I can’t imagine how anyone could sleep through this storm, though Jesus was very tired from the crowds. Notice the accusation in the disciples. “Don’t you care?”
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. (Mark 4:39)
Jesus said these words to an unclean spirit at Capernaum in the first chapter of Mark. He has authority over spiritual and natural forces. Beyond a miracle, the disciples may have thought of the sea in Psalm 107:
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and he brought them out of their distress.
He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea were hushed.
They were glad when it grew calm,
and he guided them to their desired haven. (Psalm 107:28-30)
Jesus is doing what God did in this scripture. This is no party trick! This is God at work.
He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40)
Fear or faith? There were experienced fishermen in the boat with Jesus, including Peter, Andrew, James, and John. For them to be terrified is significant.
The storm was over, yet they were still afraid. Instead of fearing the danger, they feared God. It wasn’t a spooky fear, but awe and reverence in the presence of the mysterious miracle worker. They’ve seen Jesus do miracles. They’ve heard the amazing teaching. They were still coming to grips with the fact that the long-awaited Messiah was in their midst.
They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” (Mark 4:41)
The question reveals a lot about the disciples. Who is this? We know it is Jesus, the God-man, fully God and fully human, able to relate to our struggles, sorrow, and pain, yet possessing all power and authority. Do you know him? Do you follow him? Is he just Savior but also truly LORD?
What I want to tell you is Jesus will calm every storm in your life, but we know that’s not true. Scott Krippayne penned these song lyrics:
Sometimes He calms the storm And other times He calms His child
I love that! God promises to be with us…always. I’d rather be with Jesus in a storm than alone on the beach.
Our scripture reading is from Jesus’ final words on earth as recorded by Matthew. He gathered his followers together.
Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18)
This passage is known as the Great Commission. It’s one of the most important texts in the entire Bible.
First, Jesus declares his authority. It is complete. Jesus has all authority. He has it all, in heaven and on earth. That is crucial because the rest would be meaningless without it.
The mission, then, is to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them, and teaching them to obey. This is the foundation of our church mission to love, equip, and send. We are to be a discipleship factory.
Notice that’s different than merely distributing religious goods and services. It means we are to intentionally engage in life-on-life ministry, but we’re not alone. He is with us always, to the very end of the age. That’s the message of Christmas: Emmanuel, God is with us. Jesus was with us for 33 years and then sent the Holy Spirit to be with us. I take great comfort in knowing God is here. God is with us.
This does not mean we won’t struggle, but rather that God is with us in the struggle.
At this very moment, the room is filled with something you cannot see, feel, smell, taste, or hear, but they are very real. They’re called radio frequencies or waves. In order to access them, you need a receiver…a radio. The same can be said for WiFi or television signals. They are present, but we’re often unaware of their presence. We need to tune in. We need to pay attention.
Research shows that as we move, our eyes are usually focused ahead or down. There could be something right above you, and you may be unaware of it. I want to challenge you to look up! Paul said in the midst of life’s troubles,
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18)
Not only is God with us, but the Church is with us in the struggle. Notice the capital “C.” We were created for community, for relationships. I need you. You need me. We are a family. No individual is a family.
I love our College First family. I’ve seen countless examples of people loving, serving, praying, laughing, crying, encouraging, grieving, and rejoicing with and for one another. I believe we can go through just about anything in life if we know we’re not alone. I often think of our nine years with a sick child and the dozens of people who journeyed with us. Heather read a book by Carol Kent that referred to those people as “stretcher-bearers.” They came alongside us and carried us when we could not carry ourselves. They brought meals, prayed, sent cards of encouragement, watched our other kids when we were at the Cleveland Clinic, and supported us financially.
That’s the Church in action. Real community. Nothing artificial about it! But you have to reach out. You have to make your needs known. Ask for help, fill out a Connection Card, join a small group, contact the office, send an e-mail to a staff member, come forward for prayer at the end of our gathering today. We can’t serve you if we don’t know you need help.
So What?
If you’ve said “yes” to Jesus, you are never alone. God promises to be with us…always. If you let Jesus in your boat, he will never leave you. The writer of the book of Hebrews said,
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
This is a reference to three Old Testament passages (Genesis 28:15, Deuteronomy 31:6, 8, and Joshua 1:5). Throughout the Scriptures, we’re reminded that God is with us. Always. These verses have been a comfort to those facing persecution and even martyrdom both then and now around the world. It’s a promise He makes again and again.
In the storm, the disciples didn’t feel God’s love, but it was present. It was hard for them to hear Jesus, but he was speaking. He was fully present even when they were not looking to him. Things changed when they turned to him and reached out.
The next time you feel lonely, remember, God is with us. Look up!
And the church is with us. Reach out! You’re a part of a family. You belong here. You are seen. You are loved. You are never alone.
Loneliness, 8 June 2014
Big Idea: We are never alone, must embrace that reality, and ensure others are loved and connected.
There are droves of lonely people in the church, and that includes senior pastors and priests. The isolation comes from a lack of identification and identification comes through open communication. When we can be vulnerable and honest with one another, we understand each other in a profound way.
A lonely person may walk in to a church alone and leave alone each Sunday. Although they appreciate the free coffee and donuts the fellowship hall offers, what they really want is fellowship. Taking time to get to know the people around you and then reaching out to them outside of the church will allow for a greater, more stable community.
Of course, every church is different and while one church may be stronger in one area, it may be weaker in others. These are just a few issues that we as the Church Body need to be willing to address. And as we talk about them, we must remember to address them with humility, understanding and grace, keeping in mind our role as fellow hospital patients, not museum curators.
(from http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/church/5-uncomfortable-issues-church-needs-start-talking-about)
Introduction
What is the one factor that produces happiness in people? According to a recent study it is the presence of rich, deep, meaningful relationships.
This should come as no surprise. Let’s go back—way back.
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” (Genesis 1:26)
God exists in community. God said let us make man in our image. Although we worship one God—unlike many polytheistic religions of the world—God exists in three Persons: God the Father, God the Son, and the often neglected God the Holy Spirit. One of our most precious hymns vibrantly declares this theological truth:
“God in three Persons/Blessed Trinity” (Holy, Holy, Holy)
God exists in community. I can’t entirely explain it, but there God is community. God is all about relationships.
If you don’t believe me, turn a page or two to day six of the creation account in Genesis 2.
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
The only thing that was not good during creation was a single man. It is not good for man to be alone! It is not good for woman to be alone.
Is it any wonder that loneliness can be so devastating?
“Ah look at all the lonely people.” - Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles
Recent Studies on Loneliness
If I had time, I could cite a barrage of research that indicates the negative effects of loneliness. It can affect our overall well-being. Disconnected, lonely people are more prone to an early death.
Elderly people without adequate social interaction were twice as likely to die prematurely as those with friends.
The increased mortality risk is similar to that of smoking and twice as dangerous as obesity.
http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.1000316
While loneliness is hardly new in our culture, it is growing. In the 1980’s about 20% of USAmericans were categorized as lonely.
One study of those 45 and older revealed 37% of men and 34% of women were lonely, though the older one got the less lonely they felt.
The percentage of lonely people has nearly doubled since the 80’s.
http://assets.aarp.org/rgcenter/general/loneliness_2010.pdf
How can this be when we are connected with cell phones, text, e-mail, video chat, and, of course, Facebook? After all, I have over one thousand Facebook friends so I couldn’t possibly ever experience loneliness. Right?!
A recent study of Facebook users found the more time you spend on Facebook, the less happy you feel throughout the day.
http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0069841#s2
Are you lonely?
The Loneliness Quiz (based upon the UCLA Loneliness Scale; http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/loneliness.htm)
Even if you scored low, there is no guarantee you will never feel lonely. Let’s face it, there are seasons of life during which we feel more lonely than others. I have certainly felt more lonely since my relationship with my dad began to erode with his terminal dementia.
One study said 90% of men don’t have a true friend. That’s far more than a season. I must confess other than my wife, my best friend has lived in Delaware for more than twenty years. I cherish my relationship with him and we’ve been together at least once every single year, yet sometimes I wonder why I’ve been unable to establish such a relationship with someone local in more than two decades.
If you’re feeling lonely, you’re in good company with me, King David, and probably every person that has ever breathed air—including Jesus.
In our remaining time together I want to present three things:
Jesus understands loneliness
If you are lonely today, Jesus understands. Really.
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (Isaiah 53:3)
Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (Matthew 8:20; Luke 9:58)
No matter how lonely you have felt, none of us have experienced the ultimate loneliness Jesus experienced on the cross—for us. Not only was He alone above the crowds (except for the two thieves hanging beside Him), He encountered the most horrific of all loneliness: separation from God.
About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” — which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34; this was a quote of Psalm 22:1)
Hell is eternal separation from God and others. It is ground zero for loneliness.
Jesus suffered my hell for me that I might one day enjoy His heaven with Him.
Jesus knows loneliness.
Jesus is with us in the midst of our loneliness
The final words of Jesus recorded by Matthew as Christ ascends into heaven are
…surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20b)
God said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5b; see Deuteronomy 31:6)
I realize it’s very possible to be lonely even though you know God is with you, but let’s face it, sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge something you can’t see.
For example, right now there are dozens and possibly hundreds of messages being sent to you and me. Can you hear them? Can you see them? Perhaps not, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t here. You can deny such waves exist, but that doesn’t make them go away. What we need, in fact, is a receiver to fully appreciate these messages. Any radio or television will allow us to tune in to these invisible waves.
If Jesus walked into this room or any room in which you find yourself lonely, would you be less lonely? Of course!
Jesus said something interesting when He left our planet.
But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. (John 16:7)
Jesus is not here in this room in the flesh, but God is here. The Holy Spirit of God was unleashed on our planet about two thousand years ago and dwells within all believers. When we receive Jesus, we get the Holy Spirit, too.
If you are a Christ-follower, declare God’s truth over the lies of the enemy. Satan wants us lonely, depressed, and discouraged. We can’t threaten his agenda of death and destruction when we are consumed with our own sadness.
I’m not saying fake it and put on a happy face, but I am saying we need to know and speak the truth. If God is for us, who can be against us? We need to claim the authority we have in Jesus and the promises of God and acknowledge the presence of God with us. The Bible is like our radio or television, helping us see the reality of Emmanuel, God with us.
But if God was enough, there was no need to create Eve. Adam had God in the Garden of Eden, yet God said it was not good.
We need one another.
As followers of Jesus, we are called to wipe out loneliness
Look around the room. This is your family. I know, some of us are strange, but we’re all related by blood, the blood of Jesus. God has given us two simple yet daunting commands:
If we truly devoted ourselves to one another, I wonder how often we would be lonely. If we got beyond ourselves and intentionally reached out to one another, would it even be possible to be lonely?!
Perhaps the problem isn’t the people in this room but it’s you. Maybe you’ve refused the invitations of others into deeper fellowship. When did you stop trusting people? Many have been so hurt by others that they build walls to protect themselves from being hurt again. Does that describe you? I’m not saying it’s easy, but I urge you to be vulnerable. Be honest. Open up. Trust. It may not be the entire church, but what would happen if you took a risk and shared something with your Life Group or even one or two people? Last Sunday David Hobson courageously shared with our entire church his struggles, and doing so encourages us to respond to him with our story.
“You can only be loved to the extent that you're known.” That’s intimacy. I believe many are lonely because they’ve not let anyone in. I urge you to try…again. You might want to begin with a professional, biblical counselor. Family Counseling and Samaritan Counseling are two local centers that I’ve experienced. Their contact information:
Family Counseling 734.477.9999 (quality Biblical counseling)
Samaritan Counseling 734.677.0609 (quality Biblical counseling)
Eileen Aveni, ema@ndzh.com (quality Biblical counseling)
Another great loneliness killer is serving others. Volunteer at Hope Clinic or another area non-profit. Serving others takes the focus off of ourselves and our pain and frequently opens new relationships to us.
A Challenge
Scio Community Church, I want to urge you to intentionally welcome the stranger(s) among us. As followers of Jesus, we are called to wipe out loneliness. How can we love our neighbor if we ignore them. I’m not suggesting we harass them (!), but as we have said in recent days, people aren’t looking for a friendly church. They are looking for friends. As we have guests, we must do more than shake their hand and smile, though that’s a good start. The only way we are going to see new people join our family is if we get out of our comfort zones and seek relationships with them. Here are a few simple things you can do any Sunday:
Scio, we offer one of the greatest things people today are seeking—relationships! Our annual theme is connect and we’ve been called by God to connect people up to Him, in to one another, and out to our world.
The Bible is filled with exhortations regarding hospitality which is welcoming the stranger. Why? Because God is all about relationships. Are we?
You can listen to this message and others at the Scio podcast here. You can also subscribe to our podcast here.
There are droves of lonely people in the church, and that includes senior pastors and priests. The isolation comes from a lack of identification and identification comes through open communication. When we can be vulnerable and honest with one another, we understand each other in a profound way.
A lonely person may walk in to a church alone and leave alone each Sunday. Although they appreciate the free coffee and donuts the fellowship hall offers, what they really want is fellowship. Taking time to get to know the people around you and then reaching out to them outside of the church will allow for a greater, more stable community.
Of course, every church is different and while one church may be stronger in one area, it may be weaker in others. These are just a few issues that we as the Church Body need to be willing to address. And as we talk about them, we must remember to address them with humility, understanding and grace, keeping in mind our role as fellow hospital patients, not museum curators.
(from http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/church/5-uncomfortable-issues-church-needs-start-talking-about)
Introduction
What is the one factor that produces happiness in people? According to a recent study it is the presence of rich, deep, meaningful relationships.
This should come as no surprise. Let’s go back—way back.
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” (Genesis 1:26)
God exists in community. God said let us make man in our image. Although we worship one God—unlike many polytheistic religions of the world—God exists in three Persons: God the Father, God the Son, and the often neglected God the Holy Spirit. One of our most precious hymns vibrantly declares this theological truth:
“God in three Persons/Blessed Trinity” (Holy, Holy, Holy)
God exists in community. I can’t entirely explain it, but there God is community. God is all about relationships.
If you don’t believe me, turn a page or two to day six of the creation account in Genesis 2.
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
The only thing that was not good during creation was a single man. It is not good for man to be alone! It is not good for woman to be alone.
Is it any wonder that loneliness can be so devastating?
“Ah look at all the lonely people.” - Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles
Recent Studies on Loneliness
If I had time, I could cite a barrage of research that indicates the negative effects of loneliness. It can affect our overall well-being. Disconnected, lonely people are more prone to an early death.
Elderly people without adequate social interaction were twice as likely to die prematurely as those with friends.
The increased mortality risk is similar to that of smoking and twice as dangerous as obesity.
http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.1000316
While loneliness is hardly new in our culture, it is growing. In the 1980’s about 20% of USAmericans were categorized as lonely.
One study of those 45 and older revealed 37% of men and 34% of women were lonely, though the older one got the less lonely they felt.
The percentage of lonely people has nearly doubled since the 80’s.
http://assets.aarp.org/rgcenter/general/loneliness_2010.pdf
How can this be when we are connected with cell phones, text, e-mail, video chat, and, of course, Facebook? After all, I have over one thousand Facebook friends so I couldn’t possibly ever experience loneliness. Right?!
A recent study of Facebook users found the more time you spend on Facebook, the less happy you feel throughout the day.
http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0069841#s2
Are you lonely?
The Loneliness Quiz (based upon the UCLA Loneliness Scale; http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/loneliness.htm)
Even if you scored low, there is no guarantee you will never feel lonely. Let’s face it, there are seasons of life during which we feel more lonely than others. I have certainly felt more lonely since my relationship with my dad began to erode with his terminal dementia.
One study said 90% of men don’t have a true friend. That’s far more than a season. I must confess other than my wife, my best friend has lived in Delaware for more than twenty years. I cherish my relationship with him and we’ve been together at least once every single year, yet sometimes I wonder why I’ve been unable to establish such a relationship with someone local in more than two decades.
If you’re feeling lonely, you’re in good company with me, King David, and probably every person that has ever breathed air—including Jesus.
In our remaining time together I want to present three things:
- Jesus understands loneliness
- Jesus is with us in the midst of our loneliness
- As followers of Jesus, we are called to wipe out loneliness
Jesus understands loneliness
If you are lonely today, Jesus understands. Really.
- - man of sorrows
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (Isaiah 53:3)
- - homeless
Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (Matthew 8:20; Luke 9:58)
- - betrayed by one of His disciples, Judas
- - one of His closest friends, Peter, denied Him three times
- - His best friends deserted Him in the hour of His greatest need in the Garden of Gethsemane prior to His arrest (Matthew 26; Mark 14)
- - He was tempted in every way and this included isolation (Hebrews 4:15)
No matter how lonely you have felt, none of us have experienced the ultimate loneliness Jesus experienced on the cross—for us. Not only was He alone above the crowds (except for the two thieves hanging beside Him), He encountered the most horrific of all loneliness: separation from God.
About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” — which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34; this was a quote of Psalm 22:1)
Hell is eternal separation from God and others. It is ground zero for loneliness.
Jesus suffered my hell for me that I might one day enjoy His heaven with Him.
Jesus knows loneliness.
Jesus is with us in the midst of our loneliness
The final words of Jesus recorded by Matthew as Christ ascends into heaven are
…surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20b)
God said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5b; see Deuteronomy 31:6)
I realize it’s very possible to be lonely even though you know God is with you, but let’s face it, sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge something you can’t see.
For example, right now there are dozens and possibly hundreds of messages being sent to you and me. Can you hear them? Can you see them? Perhaps not, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t here. You can deny such waves exist, but that doesn’t make them go away. What we need, in fact, is a receiver to fully appreciate these messages. Any radio or television will allow us to tune in to these invisible waves.
If Jesus walked into this room or any room in which you find yourself lonely, would you be less lonely? Of course!
Jesus said something interesting when He left our planet.
But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. (John 16:7)
Jesus is not here in this room in the flesh, but God is here. The Holy Spirit of God was unleashed on our planet about two thousand years ago and dwells within all believers. When we receive Jesus, we get the Holy Spirit, too.
If you are a Christ-follower, declare God’s truth over the lies of the enemy. Satan wants us lonely, depressed, and discouraged. We can’t threaten his agenda of death and destruction when we are consumed with our own sadness.
I’m not saying fake it and put on a happy face, but I am saying we need to know and speak the truth. If God is for us, who can be against us? We need to claim the authority we have in Jesus and the promises of God and acknowledge the presence of God with us. The Bible is like our radio or television, helping us see the reality of Emmanuel, God with us.
But if God was enough, there was no need to create Eve. Adam had God in the Garden of Eden, yet God said it was not good.
We need one another.
As followers of Jesus, we are called to wipe out loneliness
Look around the room. This is your family. I know, some of us are strange, but we’re all related by blood, the blood of Jesus. God has given us two simple yet daunting commands:
- - love Him
- - love others
If we truly devoted ourselves to one another, I wonder how often we would be lonely. If we got beyond ourselves and intentionally reached out to one another, would it even be possible to be lonely?!
Perhaps the problem isn’t the people in this room but it’s you. Maybe you’ve refused the invitations of others into deeper fellowship. When did you stop trusting people? Many have been so hurt by others that they build walls to protect themselves from being hurt again. Does that describe you? I’m not saying it’s easy, but I urge you to be vulnerable. Be honest. Open up. Trust. It may not be the entire church, but what would happen if you took a risk and shared something with your Life Group or even one or two people? Last Sunday David Hobson courageously shared with our entire church his struggles, and doing so encourages us to respond to him with our story.
“You can only be loved to the extent that you're known.” That’s intimacy. I believe many are lonely because they’ve not let anyone in. I urge you to try…again. You might want to begin with a professional, biblical counselor. Family Counseling and Samaritan Counseling are two local centers that I’ve experienced. Their contact information:
Family Counseling 734.477.9999 (quality Biblical counseling)
Samaritan Counseling 734.677.0609 (quality Biblical counseling)
Eileen Aveni, ema@ndzh.com (quality Biblical counseling)
Another great loneliness killer is serving others. Volunteer at Hope Clinic or another area non-profit. Serving others takes the focus off of ourselves and our pain and frequently opens new relationships to us.
A Challenge
Scio Community Church, I want to urge you to intentionally welcome the stranger(s) among us. As followers of Jesus, we are called to wipe out loneliness. How can we love our neighbor if we ignore them. I’m not suggesting we harass them (!), but as we have said in recent days, people aren’t looking for a friendly church. They are looking for friends. As we have guests, we must do more than shake their hand and smile, though that’s a good start. The only way we are going to see new people join our family is if we get out of our comfort zones and seek relationships with them. Here are a few simple things you can do any Sunday:
- Invite them to Life Group following our worship gathering
- Invite them to lunch after Life Group
- Invite them to coffee this week
- Get their phone or e-mail, if appropriate, and contact them
- Invite them to your home for a meal or party
Scio, we offer one of the greatest things people today are seeking—relationships! Our annual theme is connect and we’ve been called by God to connect people up to Him, in to one another, and out to our world.
The Bible is filled with exhortations regarding hospitality which is welcoming the stranger. Why? Because God is all about relationships. Are we?
You can listen to this message and others at the Scio podcast here. You can also subscribe to our podcast here.