Selfless Living, 27 January 2019

Selfless Living
Series—Romans: Walking in the Spirit
Romans 14

Series Overview: The book of Romans guides us into a life of freedom as we follow Jesus by being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Big Idea: The Holy Spirit will lead us to live for God and others rather than judging, condemning, and living selfishly.

I have four prayers for First Alliance Church. I announced them the moment we arrived more than three years ago and I continue to pray for them.

I pray for
passion…for Jesus, the lost, one another, the widows, strangers, orphans, and poor. I can’t make you passionate, but I can pray the Holy Spirit awakens you.

I pray for
direction. This is not my church. This is not your church. This is God’s church. Jesus is our Senior Pastor. I want nothing more than to listen to and obey Jesus.

I pray for
protection. We have a real enemy who wants to steal, kill, destroy, and lie. God is greater.

I pray for
unity. This one is related to protection because the enemy loves to bring division. Unity is fragile. Without grace, love, and truth, things can go south in a hurry.

One thing I love about praying for unity is it’s Jesus’ prayer. In fact, the only prayer I know that Jesus prays specifically for us is found in John chapter 17.

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. (John 17:20-23)

Jesus prayed that we would be one. This is why I pray for unity…not only within First Alliance Church but throughout our city. This is why we join other churches for worship—to answer Jesus’ prayer. This is why I pray with other pastors at MERGE once a month. This is why we have Home Missions partners to love our community together. This is why we seek to bless other Christians, be they counselor Jane Ginter, the Monroe Vineyard Church who is opening a coffee shop, the Toledo Vineyard Church who needed a place for a small office, our Faith Missions workers, or virtually anything we do with our Christian & Missionary Alliance family. It’s about unity…but not uniformity.

I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but God made each of us different. You are uniquely created by Almighty God with value, dignity, and worth. There is no one like you on the planet. We’ll talk more about this next Sunday, but for now I want you to think how different you are from the person sitting next to you. Maybe you look different. Maybe you think different. Maybe you smell different! We are all different, and if you’ve ever spent more than five minutes with another human being you understand why unity is so fragile, why Jesus prayed for us, and why todays passage from Romans chapter 14 is vitally important to us all.

Who’s the most selfish person you’ve ever met? Perhaps your mind reached back to that sibling or childhood friend who wouldn’t share their toys with you. Maybe it’s a co-worker or neighbor. Could it be the person in the mirror?

If we’re honest, we’re all selfish. Our natural response to most any situation is what is best for us. If our own humanity didn’t cause enough selfishness, we’re bombarded by messages every day telling us it’s all about us. Satisfy your needs, your thirst, your desires, your pleasures. You deserve it.

This might all be ok if you were the only person on the planet, but any group of two or more—much less hundreds like First Alliance Church—requires looking beyond our own preferences and conclusions.

We’ve been looking at the book of Romans during the beginning of this year. With our without new year’s resolutions, we can let time fly by or be intentional about growth, about transformation, about walking in the Spirit. Every moment is an opportunity to follow the flesh and the world or be filled with the Holy Spirit, living as God’s children and pursuing His Kingdom.

Jesus taught us to pray, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” The Kingdom of God is advancing. We see brilliant moments when heaven kisses earth—the birth of a child, a prisoner being visited, the sick being healed, the hungry being fed, the lost becoming found, generosity multiplying, artists creating, …

Of course, we live in a fallen world where the kingdom of this world is also present. The tension is real between good and evil, god and satan, this world and the next.

We’ve repeatedly said growth involves suffering. Transformation involves trials. Surrender involves sacrifice. But it’s worth it! Jesus is worth it! Being filled with the Holy Spirit, used by Almighty God is worth it!

Perhaps nowhere is the battle between the kingdoms of God and satan more evident than in relationships. I’ve seen people deeply pious, religious, and committed to God, yet they miss the second part of Jesus’ command: loving their neighbor as themselves.

Romans chapter fourteen begins…

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. (Romans 14:1-3)

Until recently, Paul’s specific message was deeply contextual. After all, whoever cared about another person’s diet? These days it’s almost impossible to prepare a meal for someone without asking if they’re vegetarian, vegan, keto, dairy-free, kosher, nut-allergic, …

Paul is most likely referring to the controversy surrounding the eating of meat sacrificed to idols or even pork. We might call it a gray matter, something which is “disputable.” Someone once said there are close-handed (clear) and open-handed (disputable) issues. For example, Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead would be two close-handed issues. We don’t debate them. They are crystal-clear from the scriptures. Murder, adultery, drunkenness, lying, stealing, envying people who live in Hawaii on a cold day like today…!!! These are close-handed, clear issues. There’s no debate.

But there are open-handed issues which are not essential. They don’t define heresy. They are disputable matters and they must be considered with humility and prayer. Of course, what is close-handed and open-handed can be a disputable matter! Here are some examples of what many would consider open-handed, disputable matters:

Can a Christian dance? Should a Christian dance? What about square dancing?

Can a Christian go to the movies? Should a Christian go to the movies? What about an R-rated movie? What about
The Passion of the Christ which was rated R?

Can a Christian smoke? What about vaping?

Can a Christian drink a glass of wine? What about a beer?

Can a Christian purchase Christmas gifts with a credit card that is nearly maxed out?

Can a Christian work for pay on Sunday? Besides me! What about attending a soccer game on the Sabbath? What about playing in a soccer game on Sunday?

Can a Christian drive a nice car? Wear expensive jewelry? Own a vacation home?

This chapter of Romans is encouraging me because I’ve seen people argue and leave churches and break off relationships and judge one another over the silliest things. Again, unity is fragile. Our enemy laughs when he sees us condemn one another over peripheral issues. My boyhood pastor used to say, “There are some things the Bible is silent about and we should be, too.”

Donald Cole was a missionary, pastor and commentator on Moody Radio In his youth, Pastor Cole was raised in a church where going to a movie theater was considered sinful. However, his family participated in Halloween trick-or-treating.

As an adult, when Pastor Cole travelled he would often stay at the house of a friend or colleague. Once he was staying with a Christian family on Halloween. His host conveyed their concerns about the evils of celebrating Halloween and the importance of shielding their children from the spiritual dangers associated with Halloween.

“So what alternative plans do you have?” inquired Pastor Cole. The parents enthusiastically replied, “We take the kids to the movies!”

There are disputable matters…and often they are based in preferences, traditions, and culture. There’s nothing wrong with having opinions, but if something’s not clear in the Bible, we must be very careful about how we express those opinions.

We need unity. Not uniformity, but unity. We must always focus on the essentials of our faith…and our own conduct. Love the sinner, hate your own sin!

Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. (Romans 14:4)

What right do you have to judge someone over a disputable matter? God will judge each of us as individuals. When you point the finger, there are three pointing back at you.

We need to judge our own sins, not those of others.

Paul continues,

One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. (Romans 14:5)

Paul moves from diet to the sabbath. The day of the week is not what’s important, but rather that we take a sabbath, that we rest, that we trust God. My sabbath is usually on Saturday. Yours might be Sunday. Paul’s saying don’t be legalistic. And don’t judge! You’re not God!

Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. (Romans 14:6)

It's not what’s in the stomach but what’s in the heart that really matters.

For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. (Romans 14:7-9)

We can’t live apart from Jesus. If you’re in a relationship with Jesus, if you’re praying, seeking to honor God, studying the truths of the Bible, and looking out for the best interest of others, there’s freedom. There’s never freedom to sin, but there is freedom to live. And while it may be ok for you to do something, be sensitive to those around you.

Perhaps the most obvious example is drinking alcohol. If you can drink a glass of wine in good conscience before God and you know your brother or sister is an alcoholic, it’s not ok to drink with them. We must be sensitive and not cause others to stumble.

If you’re not sure if something is right or not, it may indicate it’s not ok. If you have to think of ways to defend yourself, maybe you should avoid it in the first place. It’s really not enough to think WWJD—What Would Jesus Do? Instead, we can be filled with the Holy Spirit, surrender our will and desires to the LORD, and live in ways that undoubtedly bring Him honor and glory. Just because another Christian does something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s ok for you to do.

Does it honor God? Worship is more than singing songs. It’s more than an hour on Sunday. It is a 24/7 lifestyle. Whatever we do can be an act of worship if we live for the Lord. Your work can be worship. Your hobbies can be worship. Your rest can be worship. If you’re married, your sex life can be worship. Everything we do—if done for the Lord—can be worship.

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.
It is written:

“ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’ ”

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. (Romans 14:10-12)

[click here for more on God's judgment seat]

Why do we judge? I think it’s usually insecurity, a form of pride. If I condemn you, I’m apt to feel better about myself. When I put you down, I feel lifted up, even though I’m actually the one in sin. If your real motivation is to help someone grow in godliness, I doubt judging will ever produce that result. Have you ever changed your behavior because someone was condemning you?

Dallas Willard noted, "
Condemnation always involves some degree of self-righteousness and of distancing ourselves from the one we are condemning. And self-righteousness always involves an element of comparison and of condemnation…It is extremely rare that anyone who is condemned will respond by changing in the desired way."

This does not mean we shouldn’t care about the dangerous behavior of others. There is a time and place to humbly admonish one another, but never for the purpose of looking down upon a brother or sister, and not over disputable matters. May it never be! Instead, we need to encourage one another, help one another, lovingly challenge one another to follow Jesus rather than the world.

Someday you will stand before God and give an account of…you. Not me. Not your neighbor. Not even your spouse or kids if you have them. Each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. (Romans 14:13)

Does this sound familiar? Does it sound like Jesus? You may recall he said,

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matthew 7:1-2)

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:3-5)

Obviously the early Christians were judging one another. Some things never change!

We need to judge our own sins, not those of others.

We are to be sensitive to our weaker spiritual siblings. We are to help others flourish (Thomas George). They are image-bearers of Almighty God. We never know the darkness and chaos of someone else’s life (let’s not add to it!).


Paul spends the rest of the chapter reiterating the main point: don’t judge, yet be sensitive to others. Don’t cause them to stumble.

It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall. (Romans 14:21)

Perhaps the best way to summarize, then is to go to Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

Yeah, that convicts me, too…every time I read it!

So What?

I struggle with this.
I judge people for being too legalistic.
I judge people for being too liberal.

I’m a very selfish person, and that never leads to unity. It never leads to love.

Earlier this month,
Lifeway released the results of a survey that analyzed why young people leave the church. If you look around the room, I’m younger than most of you…and I’m a grandpa! They say the church is always one generation away from extinction and I’m deeply committed to helping the next generations encounter Jesus Christ. With all due respect to you senior saints, hopefully you know Jesus by now. But your kids and grandkids and great grandkids are lost with Christ, battling depression, anxiety, addiction, and loneliness. So why do they leave the church?

1. Moving to college and no longer attending
2. Church members seeming judgmental or hypocritical
3. No longer feeling connected to people in their church
4. Disagreeing with the church’s stance on political or social issues

Take a look at number two. Take look at number four.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. (Romans 14:13)

In the words of Billy Graham,

“It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge and my job to love.”

Credits: I’m grateful for the research and assistance of Doug Oliver.

You can listen to this message and others at the First Alliance Church podcast here.
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