When You Are Exhausted, 29 November 2015
When You Are Exhausted
Series: Be Here Now
Galatians 6:9-10
Series Overview: Christmas is the celebration of “presence.”
Big Idea: How do we remain fully present in the lives of others…and not wear ourselves out in the process?
Introduction
This past Wednesday I received a mass e-mail from writer Brett Kelly. I could hardly believe my eyes as the title was “Be Present.” He said,
“About a week ago, I was sitting at my usual bar, having a drink with a friend. As we sat there, I found my mind wandering to all sorts of different things: work I needed to do, my kids, etc. Important things, sure, but things unrelated to the current activity. I was anxious about the thoughts that distracted me, even though I had decided, by agreeing to meet the friend I sat with, that I wasn’t going to do anything about them for awhile.
So, I sat back, took a sip of my drink, and looked across the table at my friend and said to myself:
Be here, now.
Several years ago I found myself at a table with some friends talking to a best-selling author and pastor. I told him I was wrestling with a good definition of success, especially because I knew it was more than simply the number of people in the church I pastored or how many people read my blog. At first he said, “I don’t really think about success.” “Easy for you to say,” I thought, “since you’re leading one of the most innovative churches in the world, writing popular books, and speaking all around the world.”
Then he said something I’ve never forgotten. He said, “If I had to define success, I would say to be fully present in the moment.”
Now that the Christmas season has officially begun (for me it begins when I seen Santa in the Thanksgiving Day parade!) we are taking a break from our series on 1 Peter to celebrate Advent, literally the arrival.
For hundreds of years the people of Israel waited for the arrival of the Messiah prophesied throughout the Old Testament.
Hundreds of years! Can you imagine waiting hundreds of years for Jesus? Actually, yes! Today we find ourselves between the first and second arrivals of Jesus to our planet. We naturally think of Christmas as a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but it’s easy to forget the generations of people prior…and even those of us who await His return. This is an important time of year for giving gifts, singing songs, decorating, parties, and traditions but Advent is so much more. It is a time to simultaneously look back and look forward.
Our Advent series is called “Be Here Now” and the theme of these four weeks is presence, not Christmas presents wrapped under a tree, but presence—“e-n-c-e.” Christmas is the celebration of presence, God’s presence with us and our presence with Him and others.
If success is being fully present in the moment (let’s just use that definition for now), what is failure? Not being fully present!
Before we continue, I must pause and confess. I’m not always fully present. I “try” to multitask, thinking I can talk on the phone, eat my lunch, and surf the Internet simultaneously. I can’t. Heather knows it!
Parenthetically, I’ve been told a man’s brain is like a bird house. There’s room for one thing at a time. A woman’s brain, on the other hand, is like Swiss cheese! I’m not sure about that but I know I’m easily distracted (look, a squirrel!) and struggle to be fully present.
How do you feel when someone you’re with is not fully present…with you? You may feel frustrated, angry, or even invisible and lonely.
Jesus created The Golden Rule, stating simply
Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)
Which begs the question…
What prevents us from being fully present?
What doesn’t?!
Perhaps the greatest obstacle to being fully present with another person is busyness. When did it become a badge of honor to be busy?
Being busy is not the definition of success.
Being busy is not the same as being productive.
Being busy is not a spiritual gift.
Being busy is not a sign of spiritual maturity.
Fatigue
One of the reasons we’re not fully present with one another—and/or with God—is exhaustion.
When you are fatigued, it’s difficult to focus. It’s hard to listen attentively to others. It’s a challenge to engage a person. You may have to fight the urge to literally fall asleep (I hope that’s not you right now!!!).
Are you tired? Why? It may be you’re the parent of a young child who still confuses daytime and nighttime. I remember wondering if those sleepless nights would ever end. They do. When they become teenagers. Then you can’t wake them up!
Your fatigue may be due to health concerns you cannot control.
But it could be due to busyness. Busyness may be the cause of your health concerns!
Friends, we’re all given 24 hours a day. We must be good stewards of our time as we are to be good stewards of the financial resources we’ve been given by God. Time and money are both gifts, gifts to be used wisely. Often it’s easier to manage our checkbook than our calendar.
Busyness compromises my focus. I used to have a terrible habit of being a few minutes late to appointments.
If busyness is not a good thing, we need to assess our priorities and say no to things. It has been said the good is the enemy of the best. You can’t do everything! Author Jim Collins is famous for not only creating a to-do list but also a not-to-do list. If you add something to your schedule, what will you delete?
Doing Good
I’ve been your pastor for a little over a month now and I must say I’m still overwhelmed by God’s goodness, the incredible opportunities before us, and the rich heritage at First Alliance of serving. A week ago Heather and I joined seven other teams to distribute Thanksgiving meals to the less fortunate in Toledo. Many of you serve not only within these walls but into the community with Cherry Street Mission, the Toledo Resuce Mission, Water for Ishmael, and the many other local—and global—ministries. I’m humbled to be surrounded by so many faithful servants, especially visible during the holidays.
Toledo is a city with many needs, and it’s inspiring to see so many of you meeting those needs, day in and day out. But being aware of the needs of the world around us can wear us out. We can become “weary in doing good.” Paul wrote to the church in Galatia…
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6:9-10)
Great, but how do we keep from becoming disengaged and still stay balanced? How do we remain fully present in the lives of others and not wear ourselves out in the process?
Make sure you on your oxygen mask! If you’ve ever flown on a commercial airplane, you know they always alert you to the oxygen masks that will be available if there is a loss in cabin pressure, and when they do their pre-flight safety instructions they always say, “If you’re traveling with small children, put on your oxygen mask first.” It’s counter-intuitive, but if you’re not safe, you’ll be useless in helping others stay safe.
Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert have written a helpful book whose title says it all…
When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor…and Yourself
If we’re exhausted or sick—or dead!—we can’t be fully present for others.
If we’re discouraged and inpatient and give up, we’ll miss the harvest God has planned for us.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)
Don’t become weary and overwhelmed. Easier said than done! Just stop it!
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6:10)
“Opportunity” in the Greek is the word kairos meaning “time.” You may be familiar with the word chronos, another Greek words for time. Chronos is a specific moment of time, like 11:03 AM or Thursday at noon. Kairos refers to a season or less specific moment, like last month or—likely in this context—our limited lives. As we have time, do good. As we are alive in these bodies for 70 or 80 (or longer!) years, do good.
So how do we avoid burnout and exhaustion…or disengaging entirely from the needs of the world? What did Jesus do? He understood His limits. He didn’t try to address every possible need. Does that sound cruel? Does that sound fair?
It’s what He did! He fasted for forty days before choosing the twelve disciples…and then had three favorites with whom He spent most of His time—Peter, James and John.
He focused on individuals rather than the masses. To quote Andy Stanley, Jesus did for one what He wanted to do for everyone. He was deep with a few rather than shallow with many. Lasting change takes time. It takes attention.
You can’t be fully present with all 7 billion people on the planet.
Jesus was fully present…with them and with others. He looked people in the eye. He said no to good opportunities in order to say yes to the best. He also chose rest.
Rest
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a day off.
It seems to me Someone said once a week we need a day off, a Sabbath. In God’s Top Ten the Sabbath is listed above murder and adultery. I’m just sayin’!
Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy
Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns.
For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. (Exodus 20:8-11)
Is anyone convicted like I am right now?
As I fight to establish weekly rhythms in our new life in Ohio I’m working to make sure I’m faithful in rest. As I get older, I’m more conscious of my need for rest in order to be fully present. It’s difficult to be engaged with someone when you can’t stop yawning! Of course when I’m tired my mind is prone to wander even if my body looks involved in the conversation.
Honestly, I like to be busy and productive. I love the feeling of accomplishment, whether it’s finally finishing an endless home improvement project, writing a paper for a doctorate class, completing a jog around the neighborhood, or running errands.
But sometimes I need to rest. I need to slow down.
Present with God
One of the most challenging verses in the Bible just so happens to be hanging in our hallway near the bathrooms. Perhaps it’s a subtle message from God!
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God. Notice there’s even a comma! It doesn’t say be still and know that I am God. It says be still…and know that I am God. You need a moment of stillness just to complete the sentence!
Are you fully present with God?
Again, I recognize for young parents and others it’s difficult to be still. You’re surrounded by noise! You’re exhausted. It’s worth the effort to be present with God—in prayer, in reading the Bible, in worship.
The Starfish Story
A young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up, and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her with amusement.
She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! You can’t save all these starfish. You can’t begin to make a difference!”
The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “Well, I made a difference to that one!”
The old man looked at the girl inquisitively and thought about what she had done and said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined, and all the starfish were saved.
— Adapted from The Star Thrower
by Loren C. Eiseley
So What?
Brothers and sisters, do good, but know your limits. Rest. Take care of yourself. Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. We are on a mission to make disciples. If Jesus could only handle a dozen—or three—He doesn’t expect us to change the world overnight. But if we all did for one or a few what we wish we could do for everyone, the world would be changed! We’d be changed, too!
You can listen to this message and others at the First Alliance Church podcast here. You can subscribe to the free FAC Focus e-newsletter here.
Series: Be Here Now
Galatians 6:9-10
Series Overview: Christmas is the celebration of “presence.”
Big Idea: How do we remain fully present in the lives of others…and not wear ourselves out in the process?
Introduction
This past Wednesday I received a mass e-mail from writer Brett Kelly. I could hardly believe my eyes as the title was “Be Present.” He said,
“About a week ago, I was sitting at my usual bar, having a drink with a friend. As we sat there, I found my mind wandering to all sorts of different things: work I needed to do, my kids, etc. Important things, sure, but things unrelated to the current activity. I was anxious about the thoughts that distracted me, even though I had decided, by agreeing to meet the friend I sat with, that I wasn’t going to do anything about them for awhile.
So, I sat back, took a sip of my drink, and looked across the table at my friend and said to myself:
Be here, now.
Several years ago I found myself at a table with some friends talking to a best-selling author and pastor. I told him I was wrestling with a good definition of success, especially because I knew it was more than simply the number of people in the church I pastored or how many people read my blog. At first he said, “I don’t really think about success.” “Easy for you to say,” I thought, “since you’re leading one of the most innovative churches in the world, writing popular books, and speaking all around the world.”
Then he said something I’ve never forgotten. He said, “If I had to define success, I would say to be fully present in the moment.”
Now that the Christmas season has officially begun (for me it begins when I seen Santa in the Thanksgiving Day parade!) we are taking a break from our series on 1 Peter to celebrate Advent, literally the arrival.
For hundreds of years the people of Israel waited for the arrival of the Messiah prophesied throughout the Old Testament.
Hundreds of years! Can you imagine waiting hundreds of years for Jesus? Actually, yes! Today we find ourselves between the first and second arrivals of Jesus to our planet. We naturally think of Christmas as a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but it’s easy to forget the generations of people prior…and even those of us who await His return. This is an important time of year for giving gifts, singing songs, decorating, parties, and traditions but Advent is so much more. It is a time to simultaneously look back and look forward.
Our Advent series is called “Be Here Now” and the theme of these four weeks is presence, not Christmas presents wrapped under a tree, but presence—“e-n-c-e.” Christmas is the celebration of presence, God’s presence with us and our presence with Him and others.
If success is being fully present in the moment (let’s just use that definition for now), what is failure? Not being fully present!
Before we continue, I must pause and confess. I’m not always fully present. I “try” to multitask, thinking I can talk on the phone, eat my lunch, and surf the Internet simultaneously. I can’t. Heather knows it!
Parenthetically, I’ve been told a man’s brain is like a bird house. There’s room for one thing at a time. A woman’s brain, on the other hand, is like Swiss cheese! I’m not sure about that but I know I’m easily distracted (look, a squirrel!) and struggle to be fully present.
How do you feel when someone you’re with is not fully present…with you? You may feel frustrated, angry, or even invisible and lonely.
Jesus created The Golden Rule, stating simply
Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)
Which begs the question…
What prevents us from being fully present?
What doesn’t?!
- - Phone calls
- - Texts
- - TV
- - ADD
- - Other people
- - Noise
- - Boredom
- - Stress
Perhaps the greatest obstacle to being fully present with another person is busyness. When did it become a badge of honor to be busy?
Being busy is not the definition of success.
Being busy is not the same as being productive.
Being busy is not a spiritual gift.
Being busy is not a sign of spiritual maturity.
Fatigue
One of the reasons we’re not fully present with one another—and/or with God—is exhaustion.
When you are fatigued, it’s difficult to focus. It’s hard to listen attentively to others. It’s a challenge to engage a person. You may have to fight the urge to literally fall asleep (I hope that’s not you right now!!!).
Are you tired? Why? It may be you’re the parent of a young child who still confuses daytime and nighttime. I remember wondering if those sleepless nights would ever end. They do. When they become teenagers. Then you can’t wake them up!
Your fatigue may be due to health concerns you cannot control.
But it could be due to busyness. Busyness may be the cause of your health concerns!
Friends, we’re all given 24 hours a day. We must be good stewards of our time as we are to be good stewards of the financial resources we’ve been given by God. Time and money are both gifts, gifts to be used wisely. Often it’s easier to manage our checkbook than our calendar.
Busyness compromises my focus. I used to have a terrible habit of being a few minutes late to appointments.
If busyness is not a good thing, we need to assess our priorities and say no to things. It has been said the good is the enemy of the best. You can’t do everything! Author Jim Collins is famous for not only creating a to-do list but also a not-to-do list. If you add something to your schedule, what will you delete?
Doing Good
I’ve been your pastor for a little over a month now and I must say I’m still overwhelmed by God’s goodness, the incredible opportunities before us, and the rich heritage at First Alliance of serving. A week ago Heather and I joined seven other teams to distribute Thanksgiving meals to the less fortunate in Toledo. Many of you serve not only within these walls but into the community with Cherry Street Mission, the Toledo Resuce Mission, Water for Ishmael, and the many other local—and global—ministries. I’m humbled to be surrounded by so many faithful servants, especially visible during the holidays.
Toledo is a city with many needs, and it’s inspiring to see so many of you meeting those needs, day in and day out. But being aware of the needs of the world around us can wear us out. We can become “weary in doing good.” Paul wrote to the church in Galatia…
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6:9-10)
Great, but how do we keep from becoming disengaged and still stay balanced? How do we remain fully present in the lives of others and not wear ourselves out in the process?
Make sure you on your oxygen mask! If you’ve ever flown on a commercial airplane, you know they always alert you to the oxygen masks that will be available if there is a loss in cabin pressure, and when they do their pre-flight safety instructions they always say, “If you’re traveling with small children, put on your oxygen mask first.” It’s counter-intuitive, but if you’re not safe, you’ll be useless in helping others stay safe.
Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert have written a helpful book whose title says it all…
When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor…and Yourself
If we’re exhausted or sick—or dead!—we can’t be fully present for others.
If we’re discouraged and inpatient and give up, we’ll miss the harvest God has planned for us.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)
Don’t become weary and overwhelmed. Easier said than done! Just stop it!
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6:10)
“Opportunity” in the Greek is the word kairos meaning “time.” You may be familiar with the word chronos, another Greek words for time. Chronos is a specific moment of time, like 11:03 AM or Thursday at noon. Kairos refers to a season or less specific moment, like last month or—likely in this context—our limited lives. As we have time, do good. As we are alive in these bodies for 70 or 80 (or longer!) years, do good.
So how do we avoid burnout and exhaustion…or disengaging entirely from the needs of the world? What did Jesus do? He understood His limits. He didn’t try to address every possible need. Does that sound cruel? Does that sound fair?
It’s what He did! He fasted for forty days before choosing the twelve disciples…and then had three favorites with whom He spent most of His time—Peter, James and John.
He focused on individuals rather than the masses. To quote Andy Stanley, Jesus did for one what He wanted to do for everyone. He was deep with a few rather than shallow with many. Lasting change takes time. It takes attention.
You can’t be fully present with all 7 billion people on the planet.
Jesus was fully present…with them and with others. He looked people in the eye. He said no to good opportunities in order to say yes to the best. He also chose rest.
Rest
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a day off.
It seems to me Someone said once a week we need a day off, a Sabbath. In God’s Top Ten the Sabbath is listed above murder and adultery. I’m just sayin’!
Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy
Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns.
For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. (Exodus 20:8-11)
Is anyone convicted like I am right now?
As I fight to establish weekly rhythms in our new life in Ohio I’m working to make sure I’m faithful in rest. As I get older, I’m more conscious of my need for rest in order to be fully present. It’s difficult to be engaged with someone when you can’t stop yawning! Of course when I’m tired my mind is prone to wander even if my body looks involved in the conversation.
Honestly, I like to be busy and productive. I love the feeling of accomplishment, whether it’s finally finishing an endless home improvement project, writing a paper for a doctorate class, completing a jog around the neighborhood, or running errands.
But sometimes I need to rest. I need to slow down.
Present with God
One of the most challenging verses in the Bible just so happens to be hanging in our hallway near the bathrooms. Perhaps it’s a subtle message from God!
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God. Notice there’s even a comma! It doesn’t say be still and know that I am God. It says be still…and know that I am God. You need a moment of stillness just to complete the sentence!
Are you fully present with God?
Again, I recognize for young parents and others it’s difficult to be still. You’re surrounded by noise! You’re exhausted. It’s worth the effort to be present with God—in prayer, in reading the Bible, in worship.
The Starfish Story
A young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up, and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her with amusement.
She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! You can’t save all these starfish. You can’t begin to make a difference!”
The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “Well, I made a difference to that one!”
The old man looked at the girl inquisitively and thought about what she had done and said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined, and all the starfish were saved.
— Adapted from The Star Thrower
by Loren C. Eiseley
So What?
Brothers and sisters, do good, but know your limits. Rest. Take care of yourself. Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. We are on a mission to make disciples. If Jesus could only handle a dozen—or three—He doesn’t expect us to change the world overnight. But if we all did for one or a few what we wish we could do for everyone, the world would be changed! We’d be changed, too!
You can listen to this message and others at the First Alliance Church podcast here. You can subscribe to the free FAC Focus e-newsletter here.